The Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) plays out in so many areas of our lives and is represented by the roles of victim, persecutor and rescuer. Remember DDT, the poison? That’s exactly what the dreaded drama triangle is – poison. Any Arnold Schwarzenegger
movie has a victim, a persecutor and Arnold’s character as the rescuer. If one were to live their life like a movie, there would be way too many roller-coaster rides and it could be mentally, emotionally and physically draining. The dreaded drama triangle can play out way too often in work and family life. The persecutor does not always have to be a person, it could be a medical condition. The crazy thing is that sometimes, we relish in the kinship of victimhood and compete for who has it worse.
It’s time to create a new storyline. The Empowerment Dynamic (TED*) with the roles of creator, coach and challenger, is the antidote to the dreaded drama triangle. In “The Power of TED* (*the Empowerment Dynamic)” by David Emerald, empowering questions are presented to transform from living in the dreaded drama triangle to living the empowerment dynamic. To transform from victim to creator, one asks “What is the outcome I want?”. To transform from persecutor to challenger, one asks “What is my intent?”. To transform from rescuer to coach, one asks “How is the other person capable?”
Arnold may come to the rescue; however, when he leaves, the victim is still vulnerable. Instead of rescuing, we can be coaches instead. We can equip people with the tools and techniques to live empowered lives. Every challenge is an opportunity in disguise. It’s a matter of realizing those opportunities where we become conscious creators of our own lives.
It first starts with awareness of the dreaded drama triangle situations and realizing that we have options. Asking the empowering questions of ourselves and of others. Sharing one’s desired outcomes and intent helps de-escalate the drama. Asking the other person what their desired outcomes and intent are, helps gain clarity of the situation. Instead of ‘rescuing’ someone, we can recognize they are capable and may need a little guidance when they are ready. It is more fulfilling to be a co-creator rather than a rescuer. This will lead to more compassionate dialog and a path towards a more creative, empowered response and outcome.